Too Many Emotions To Deal With
Oi fucking vei, where to begin this time, ne? Lately I've been feeling so damn emotional... Then again, I think I've had a few to be emotional. I swear, in the past week I must have felt every emotion humanly possible.
Well, first off, I tried calling my dad like 2 weeks ago, and to my surprise, his phone was disconnected. His phone that was on in Lynn's name, I might add. So, I quickly put two and two together... They got in a fight, and she was being a bitch and shut it off. I figured that my dad wouldn't want to get back with her after that. Good riddance, he's better off without the bitch anyway.
Anyway, I was chatting with the boys over the course of the last weekend, and found out that my dad was going over to their house to hang out on Tuesday. So, it made me wonder if something happened and he had to get his phone shut off... Cause nobody can really be that stupid, can they?
Apparently my father is. I was just chatting with Matt and found out it was Lynn who got pissed and did it. So, I asked Matt if he could tell my dad to call me when he sees him. He said no. I asked Dustin. He also said no. What the fuck?! They can't do me one simple favour... One that could make me feel alot better! That can make me feel like I'm not being ignored or replaced. -_-
So, Matt and I continued talking about this whole situation, and I don't know what happened, but he got really cold with me. Telling me to shut up and stop being so damn emo... That I don't know him, and never will. Making me feel like the supposed years of, you know, trust, were nothing.
And I'm getting really sick of hearing how my dad is spending so much time with the boys, and doing so many things with them. Like going to the hockey game, for example. Something he promised me we would do while I was living with him. I was there for how many bloody months, and he didn't take me. We did nothing together. Hell, we barely spoke without getting into some big fight, and him telling me what a fuck up I am. How I can't do anything right. How I'm not like everyone else. Fuck everyone else! I'm me, and the bastard could never seem to expect that.
It just feels like the boys are the kids my dad always wished he could have. Instead he got stuck with some anti-social trouble child, who just can't do anything right. Especially school. I can't help it, but I guess I'm feeling kind of jealous about that. I've known my dad on and off for my whole life. He's known them for three years. I just don't get it...
And dealing with the bullshit of school is only making me more stressed about this whole matter. Seriously, I've heard from Mr. Pleasant how I can't do anything right, or up to his standards, all fucking week! He's even kept me after class just to tell me that. But yet, when I ask the bastard for help, he never does. And I personally don't think my work is a first grade level! He's even told me I have some of the best work. -_-
Now I have to present my Portfolio tomorrow, and when I asked about the "Growth" section he simply told me to "Go ask guidance why we have to learn this." Ugh! That wasn't my bloody question! Plus, I'm supposed to get some of those plastic thingies to hold papers in to put in a binder, and we can't afford them! Now, I'm gonna lose marks, and get to hear more of how I fucked up cause of something I can't control.
Plus I have to submit my extra scene for the Melville Boys for english tomorrow. Which has to be printed or she won't accept it. And of course, fate has a sense of humour, and my printer is being messed up. I don't even have a fucking disk to put it on to print at school, and I don't have enough time at lunch to re-type it. I guess I'll just take a late and get dedcuted 10% a day.
Also, I have to act out Bradon's script in class tomorrow with a few others. I hate doing anything infront of the class. Especially when I have the most mushy and emotional lines in the whole damn scene! Plus I have to play two people; Mary and Patty. On the plus side, I do get to slap Brandon and call him a "son of a bitch!"
Oooh, on a lighter, and more amusing note, Tim Deegan came to my school today! He's in the top four right now in the Much Music VJ Search. It turns out that we grew up here in Oshawa, and went to my high school. He brought a band with him too. I'm not sure who they were, but they were awesome.
Wow... The auditorium was totally crazy. Fangirls swarming around the stage, wanting to get his autograph. Hehe, I just waited back until the crowd started disappearing, and then went and got his autograph... And the lead singers. ^^
Well, I've been babbling for a while now, and wanna try to fix my printer again before I head to bed. Plus, I wanna go bug Sarah, since she's finally online! Ja!
Quote of the Moment: "Fabulous!" -- Sean Gehon, another finalist in the VJ Search... The one I'm rooting for! ^___^
Well, first off, I tried calling my dad like 2 weeks ago, and to my surprise, his phone was disconnected. His phone that was on in Lynn's name, I might add. So, I quickly put two and two together... They got in a fight, and she was being a bitch and shut it off. I figured that my dad wouldn't want to get back with her after that. Good riddance, he's better off without the bitch anyway.
Anyway, I was chatting with the boys over the course of the last weekend, and found out that my dad was going over to their house to hang out on Tuesday. So, it made me wonder if something happened and he had to get his phone shut off... Cause nobody can really be that stupid, can they?
Apparently my father is. I was just chatting with Matt and found out it was Lynn who got pissed and did it. So, I asked Matt if he could tell my dad to call me when he sees him. He said no. I asked Dustin. He also said no. What the fuck?! They can't do me one simple favour... One that could make me feel alot better! That can make me feel like I'm not being ignored or replaced. -_-
So, Matt and I continued talking about this whole situation, and I don't know what happened, but he got really cold with me. Telling me to shut up and stop being so damn emo... That I don't know him, and never will. Making me feel like the supposed years of, you know, trust, were nothing.
And I'm getting really sick of hearing how my dad is spending so much time with the boys, and doing so many things with them. Like going to the hockey game, for example. Something he promised me we would do while I was living with him. I was there for how many bloody months, and he didn't take me. We did nothing together. Hell, we barely spoke without getting into some big fight, and him telling me what a fuck up I am. How I can't do anything right. How I'm not like everyone else. Fuck everyone else! I'm me, and the bastard could never seem to expect that.
It just feels like the boys are the kids my dad always wished he could have. Instead he got stuck with some anti-social trouble child, who just can't do anything right. Especially school. I can't help it, but I guess I'm feeling kind of jealous about that. I've known my dad on and off for my whole life. He's known them for three years. I just don't get it...
And dealing with the bullshit of school is only making me more stressed about this whole matter. Seriously, I've heard from Mr. Pleasant how I can't do anything right, or up to his standards, all fucking week! He's even kept me after class just to tell me that. But yet, when I ask the bastard for help, he never does. And I personally don't think my work is a first grade level! He's even told me I have some of the best work. -_-
Now I have to present my Portfolio tomorrow, and when I asked about the "Growth" section he simply told me to "Go ask guidance why we have to learn this." Ugh! That wasn't my bloody question! Plus, I'm supposed to get some of those plastic thingies to hold papers in to put in a binder, and we can't afford them! Now, I'm gonna lose marks, and get to hear more of how I fucked up cause of something I can't control.
Plus I have to submit my extra scene for the Melville Boys for english tomorrow. Which has to be printed or she won't accept it. And of course, fate has a sense of humour, and my printer is being messed up. I don't even have a fucking disk to put it on to print at school, and I don't have enough time at lunch to re-type it. I guess I'll just take a late and get dedcuted 10% a day.
Also, I have to act out Bradon's script in class tomorrow with a few others. I hate doing anything infront of the class. Especially when I have the most mushy and emotional lines in the whole damn scene! Plus I have to play two people; Mary and Patty. On the plus side, I do get to slap Brandon and call him a "son of a bitch!"
Oooh, on a lighter, and more amusing note, Tim Deegan came to my school today! He's in the top four right now in the Much Music VJ Search. It turns out that we grew up here in Oshawa, and went to my high school. He brought a band with him too. I'm not sure who they were, but they were awesome.
Wow... The auditorium was totally crazy. Fangirls swarming around the stage, wanting to get his autograph. Hehe, I just waited back until the crowd started disappearing, and then went and got his autograph... And the lead singers. ^^
Well, I've been babbling for a while now, and wanna try to fix my printer again before I head to bed. Plus, I wanna go bug Sarah, since she's finally online! Ja!
Quote of the Moment: "Fabulous!" -- Sean Gehon, another finalist in the VJ Search... The one I'm rooting for! ^___^
posted by Amy B. at 6:00 PM
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